What Not To Do In Middle Earth
by Vippy26
Summary: How do two modern day women cope with getting sucked into middle earth in the days when elves, trolls, men and living trees are fighting for dominance, amongst themselves. And evil is hanging over everything like a fog choking the life out of all the good in the world? Travel along with them as they meet the creatures that nightmares are made of.
1. Chapter 1

Phone rings, "Yello." "We still hitting the bar tonight?" Ally asked. "Yupper," Vip said back. "Have you desided on what you are going to wear yet?" "Yes, I have my change of clothes here with me. I'm going to wear my knee-high boots with my leather skirt, black tank top, and black mesh shirt. Along with my fingerless gloves. You?"

" I got that new forest green tank to go with my long cotton skirt of the same color. I have the new soft knee high black boots with no heels so I do not kill myself walking. Are you taking your hair down or are you leaving it up? Mine unlike normal will be down since I took the time to straightning it.

"Yeah, right Ally said. "And how many times have you sat on it today?" "I pulled a you after the third time. So it is currently up."

"I knew it, and mine will be down too. Don't you dare say it, I know what you're thinking!" "What, who me, what would I say? Well, I'm off in an hour, so I'll meet you there." Vip hangs up without saying good bye.

"Damn bitch, you did not just hang up on me?" Ally says as she hangs up too.

*At the bar later that night, after two drinks, and several shots later.*

Ally and Vip were sitting at the bar, laughing at men's stupid pick up lines when Vip suddenly stops laughing, and looks seriously at Ally.

"I have to go potty before I piss myself." Vip says, and they both start laughing again as they head towards the bathroom.

As Vip opens the bathroom door, they feel a rush of wind...


	2. Chapter 2

*In Middle Earth*

Ally and Vip were falling through a strange gold hole when suddenly there was a flash of blinding light.

Ally felt her body land on something solid but not hard. She didn't open her eyes right away, slightly afraid of what she might see, until all she heard was nothing but birds chirping. She opened her eyes to see a pair of dark brown eyes staring back at her in shock. Instantly, Ally wrapped her arms around the owner of those brown eyes and hugged him. As soon as she had done that the man stood up, causing her to fall on her butt.

"OW, THAT HURT! You didn't have to drop me, you stubborn elf." She said, glaring at him.

He stared at her as she glared at him for a moment before she looked at her surroundings. She saw a lot of elves all around her, along with some men, and dwarves. All of them were staring at her when suddenly her cell phone rings, making everyone jump, including her.

Ally answers her phone, still surprised that it is even working here. It's Vip.

"Where are you girl? I'm in the woods with some big ass trees." Vip asks her. "What did we drink, because you would not fucking believe where I landed." Ally says to her. " Well, I sure did not park my car here." "Well, I damn sure know you didn't park it where I'm at?"

"Was your landing soft because my was not? I landed on my ass." Vip asked. " On your ass where?" " I told you, with big ass trees around me, with the feeling of being watched." " What kind of trees?" "Do I look like a forest ranger? How the hell would I know they are big and white."

"Are there any big ass eight legged bugs around you?" "No, but the feeling of being watched is getting stronger." "Relax, I'm in a little pickle right now let me call you back." " What the Fuck do you mean your in a pickle? What's going on there? Oh, never mind, I've got arrows pointing at me now. I hope yours are as cute as mine."

"OH! Would you shut the fuck up already everyone can hear you here and we'll talk about THAT later. I have swords aimed at me. I'll call you back."

Ally hangs up her phone and looks at all the weapons that she's surrounded by until she spots her favorite wizard. She puts her hands up showing that she means no harm and prays to whatever god in Middle Earth to help her.

"Uhm...uh...Gandalf please, I don't mean any harm. Lord Elrond, please don't let them kill me. I know you probably have a lot of questions and so do I, but none of them will get answered if you kill me." Ally said, knowing it was true.

Gandalf walks up closer to Ally without saying a word and looks her in the eyes. He held her gaze long enough for her to begin feeling very uncomfortable. Without saying a word, he looks away from her towards Elrond.

"She means no harm. I can see it. We should finish this and then question the young lady." Gandalf tells Elrond.

"Are you sure that she can be trusted?" Elrond asks, scowling at Ally as she's trying to look innocent.

*Meanwhile in Lothlorien*

"Do you understand me?" Vip says "If so I have to potty so don't look while I go behind this tree." She pushes the arrow out of her face and went behind the tree muttering to herself "I hope I don't wipe with anything I'm allergic too."

As she was going she hears a voice in her head. Then thinks are you sure you want to join the other voices. Hearing a chuckle the voice said "The wardens will lead you to me." Vip stands back up walks over to the Elves and says, "Take me to your leader."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer We do not own anything so don't sue... Here is a larger chapter to make up for not posting recently. This Fic has been a collaboration between Legolaswifey and I. Now on with the story.

*Ally*

Ally sat next to Gandalf listening to Elrond talk about the history of the ring. She was getting really bored because she already knew all of this from reading the books. She couldn't help but start looking around at everyone until she saw her favorite elf sitting only a few seats away from her. Finally she counldn't listen anymore.

"Alright already, just send the ring to Mordor with a small group to destroy it in Mount Doom and get it over with, And I WILL be going too, so I can get my friend on the way. You take too long talking, Elrond, I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one that's hungry and tired from listening to you all day!" Ally snapped.

Everyone there stared at her, shocked to hear someone actually raise their voice at the Lord of Rivendell. She felt everyones eyes on her and turned towards them. When she saw Legolas from the corner of her eye she quickly closed her mouth.

After the fellowship was decided and everyone left, Ally spent the next two hours answering Elrond's and Gandalf's questions. Questions from where she came from all the way up to how she arrived in Rivendell. She had become so tired of all the questions that she started snapping at them. Luckily, for her, they agreed that she would travel with the fellowship. Some of the others weren't going to be happy about that, but it didn't matter.

*Vip*

She had been walking through the forest with the elves for what felt like hours and was really quite tired of it all. As she was looking around at everything, she glanced over at Haldir who was walking next to her on the left.

Suddenly, she got an idea and smiled evilly. She waited a few more minutes before she quickly stuck out her foot, felt Haldir trip over it,and then bursted out laughing as she watched him fall on his face. She was laughing so hard that she was holding her stomach.

As Haldir stood up, he glared at her like he wanted to kill her right then instead of take her to Galadriel. He glared at her as she continued walking in the direction they were headed without looking back.

After a minute, Vip turned around and saw all of them still standing where she left them and then looked at Haldir to see him glaring at her.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice. I thought you were an elf, aren't you supposed to be graceful?" she told him, sarcastically.

"Enough, follow me." Haldir said as he walked past her, obviously hiding his anger.

An hour later they arrived at Lothlorien, Vip was about to meet Celeborn and Lady Galadriel.

*Ally*

The day of departure from Rivendell had finally arrived for the fellowship. Everyone was getting everything that they were going to need for the journey ready. Even Ally was getting prepared.

None of the fellowship knew that she was going except Gandalf and Aragorn. The three of them thought it would be easier if the other didn't know until they were about to leave. She had come up with the idea herself. What she didn't tell them was why she wanted it this way. She couldn't give anything away just yet, especially that. Only two people knew why she would want it this way, Vip and her.

Everyone was ready to leave but they were waiting on Aragorn and Gandalf to finish talking to Elrond. They didn't have to wait long though.

A moment later, Aragorn and Gandalf walked outside to join them, and Ally was with them. She was wearing a cloak, along with a sword, and a bow with arrows. She seen all of them staring at her and didn't like it at all.

"What are you staring at?" She snapped at them, not caring about what they thought of her.

"What is this? She can not be thinking of coming with us, is she?" Boromir exclaimed, getting angry.

"Boromir, now is not the time nor place. Everyone this is Ally, she is coming with us. " Gandalf told him, then turning to Ally, "Come, we must leave now."

"This is going to bring doom to us all." Boromir said as he glared at Ally's back.

*Vip*

Vip couldn't help but stare at everything she was seeing. Everything was silver-white and gold. From the bark on the trees being white but shining like silver in the sunlight to the leaves looking like gold. When she looked ahead of her, she saw a stairway going around a large tree. She looked up and couldn't see the top.

"First, can't they have more colors, and second of all, why so many damn stairs." she mumbled under her breath.

As they were about to start climbing the stairs, Vip picked up the front of her skirt and took a running start towards Haldir. She jumped onto his back, making him nearly lose his balance. He looked back at her.

"What do you think you are doing?" He asked her.

"You really think i'm going to walk up these stairs when even you can't even walk on flat land." Vip tells him.

"Get off of me." Haldir said, not moving.

"Not going to happen, Haldir." She said, not letting go and listening to his brothers snickering behind them. "So, move it, already."

After the long climb up the stairs, Vip jumped off of Haldir's back. As Haldir turned to walk back down the stairs, Vip smacked him on the ass, making him look at her.

"Thanks for the ride, sweetie." Vip tells him before turning towards Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. "He's great on stairs, but not so much on flat terrain."

Ten minutes later, Lady Galadriel bursts out laughing, " That's a wonderful idea, I'll talk to Haldir..."

*Ally*

Some days later near the borders of Hollin, Ally and everyone stopped to rest for a while. Merry and Pippin were learning how to use their swords from Boromir. Aragorn was watching them. Sam and Frodo were just sitting down resting. Galdalf was sitting on a rock deeply thinking with Gimli standing nearby. Legolas was standing on the large rock that Ally was leaning against.

"What's that?" Sam said, looking at the sky.

"It's moving fast and against the wind." Boromir said, slight concern in his voice.

"Crebain from Dunland!" Legolas yelled as he jumped off the rock and pulled Ally into hiding with him.

She couldn't yell at him for pulling her because she knew that it would draw attention to them, but she was freaking out mentally. The predicament she was currently in was awkward for her because Legolas was her favorite out of the entire group. She couldn't help but notice that his arm had her pinned to the ground and him to keep her still until the crebain passed over them.

After the crebain flew past, Ally pushed Legolas' arm off of her and jumped up so fast that it actually shocked him. She had ran a few feet away and stopped, trying to catch her breath.

As she was standing there, everyone came out of where they were hiding. Sam looked at her in concern, with Legolas looking at her in confusion. Gimli with axe in hand, looked at Legolas fiercly.

"What did you do to her?" he asked, and not waiting for an answer, walked over to Ally. "Are you alright, lassy?"

Gimli waited for her to say something but instead she turned and looked at him. When he saw the look in her eyes and her slightly pink face, he knew not to ask any more questions like that, at least not right then. He smiled as he watched her walk back towards the others.

*Vip*

Vip swung her sword towards Haldir's left side but he blocks it with his sword. Then as she's about to swing at him again, he brings his sword down on hers, pinning her sword to the ground. She took the opportunity to show him a few moves of her own, then kicked him in the family jewels, and brought her sword to his neck as he laid on the ground curled into a ball.

Unknown to her, Haldir's brothers had appeared to witness what had just happened to him and couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Like you two would do any better." She said as she looked at his brothers.

"Why would you do that?" Haldir asked.

"Because I'm sick and tired of you complaining that I'm not putting my all into my training." she tells him as she walks away muttering about men. She walks into Galadriel's garden to get away for a while.

"That is not the way to win his heart." Celeborn said to her.

"Maybe not but now I have his respect and that is more important at this point." Vip replies back.

*Ally*

For a while the fellowship had been walking up Caradhras and the wind and snow was getting worse by the minute it seemed. Before long Ally, was walking behind Gandalf and in front of Aragorn. She could barely see Gandalf who was only a few feet in front of her because of how hard the snow was falling and the wind blowing so fast.

Legolas stopped suddenly next to Gandalf and her, "There's a fell voice in the air."

"Saruman!" Gandalf yells over the wind and starts saying some spell to the wind.

To everyone's surprise, a bolt of lightning hits the mountaintop and sends large rocks and a lot of snow down towards them. The snow buries everyone and somehow Ally finds herself hanging onto a rock over the edge.

"Can one of you help me? I really don't feel like hanging around here all day!" she screams.

She suddenly feels a hand grab her arm and pull her up. When she gets back up on solid ground she sees that Legolas was the one that pulled her up and she quickly pulls her arm away from him.

"Why is it always me and why is it always you thats saving me?" she asked and then to herself, "I should've brought my damn snow boots."

"I can not let a woman die." Legolas tells her. "What are snow boots?"

"Thanks Legolas. They're nothing."

Moments later, they were talking about what to do next and if they should keep going the way they were or go another way.

"Let us go through the Mines of Moria." Gimli said.

"Let the ring-bearer decide. Frodo?" Gandalf said, sighing.

"We will go through the mines." Frodo decided a moment later.

Ally saw the look on Gandalf's face but kept her mouth shut for now. She watched as Boromir and Aragorn carried the hobbits down the mountain out of the snow. She had stood where she was until everyone was ahead of her and then followed them, plus she was so cold that she was barely able to walk. She really didn't want them to see her like this. She really didn't want to go through the mines either. She knew what was waiting there but couldn't do anything about it.

*Back to the Garden*

Vip was talking with Celeborn and they were continuing their conversation. "He will definitely look at you in a new light."

"I think that was my point. Plus now he will teach me for real instead of like an angry toddler. I need to make sure I am battle ready. His brothers got a kick out of it too. Don't worry about it Daddy C he will come around to my way of thinking, after all women are always right even when we're wrong."

Galadriel stood there laughing, having walked in on the last part of what Vip said. "I heard you taught my March Warden a lesson today."

"He deserved it, Mama G."

"While that is true, I would prefer that you return him in the same condition, mostly."

"He just needs an ice pack and he'll be good as new."

Celeborn shakes his head and says, "You never answered my original question."

"You never asked me a question, you made a statement. You should know the difference, Daddy C."

Vip gets up to leave the garden and says, "I'm going to bathe before dinner." As she walks away quickly before he can mention it again.

*Ally*

The fellowship was trapped inside the entrance to Moria after having to fight off the Watcher and save Frodo. Gandalf had lit his staff and started walking with everyone behind him. "Now to endure the long dark of Moria."

Ally instantly grabs ahold of Merry and Pippin, who look at her in surprise. "I can't see in the dark and I think my heel just went through the skull of a dwarf." She picked up her foot and the skull was stuck to her heel. "Oh good, it was just a goblin."

They walked through Moria in a single line. Gandalf was in the front with Gimli right behind him. Next was Frodo with Sam behind him. Legolas was next with Merry and Pippin leading Ally. Boromir followed after them and Aragorn walked at the end.

That night everyone had stopped to rest. After they ate a little food, Ally, who was sitting a few feet from the group, had been joined by Merry and Pippin. She looked at them curiously, wondering what they wanted.

"Ally?" Pippin asked, looking at her.

"What is it, Pippin?" she replied.

"What is it like where you are from?" he asked.

"Well, we don't use swords and bows where I'm from. We have guns and we don't use horses either. We have horses but don't ride them much. Where I'm from it's loud all the time. It's not quiet like it is here." She answered him, as she noticed everyone looking at her by now and listening to her. "I love the quiet, though."

"What is a gun?" Merry asked.

"Uh... I'm not sure how to describe it to you but as soon as I can I will."

"Why don't they ride horses where you are from?" Legolas asked, his curiousity finally getting the better of him.

"Because we travel in cars, which are like wagons, but made of metal. Although, I have to admit, I would rather ride a horse instead."

"Are you and your friend safe there?" Gimli asked, sounding protective.

"Well, we don't have any orcs or goblins, if that's what you mean. What's with all the questions all of the sudden, guys?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at them.

Three days later, they were still walking through Moria, when Gimli saw a light coming through a door on the right. Before anyone could say anything, Gimli ran towards the room at full speed.

"Gimli!" Gandalf called before following him.

"Damn dwarf." Ally said as she ran into the room with Merry and Pippin.

As everyone looked at Balin's tomb, Ally was watching Pippin closely, but didn't stop him. She had to let this part happen even though she really didn't want to.

As soon as Pippin bumped the corpse and it fell down the well, Ally walked over to Gandalf and stood behind him as he yelled at Pippin.

"Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity." Gandalf yelled and turned to walk away only to be stopped by Ally holding her finger to her lips. As they listened, they heard the sound of faint drumming.

"Orcs!" Legolas said as he saw Frodo pull out Sting.

Boromir ran to the door and looked out. As soon as he had done that two arrows hit the door where his head had been a moment before. He shut the door quickly and looked at everyone.

"They have a cave troll." he said, as Aragorn ran to help him barricade the door with spears and axes that had been laying on the ground.

"Duh, you think!" Ally says, sarcastically.

Ally stood in front of the hobbits to keep them safe, but it was in vain, because as soon as the orcs broke down the door all four hobbits went charging at them. She tried to grab ahold of them but they were faster than her. She stood there for a moment watching them and smiled.

"This should be interesting." Ally said as she charged at the orcs, sword in hand.

The orcs were everywhere. Every time one went down, it seemed to Ally that twice as many appeared. She swung her sword, hoping to actually do something, but instead only ended up defending herself until Aragorn or one of the others would kill the orcs that attacked her. She started to think that she wasn't cut out for this, that she was just useless.

Suddenly a cave troll bursts through the doorway and started attacking them. Everyone started to attack the troll when it started singling out Frodo. Gimli got knocked towards Balin's tomb, Merry towards a wall, and Legolas was shooting his arrows at it.

Merry and Pippin climbed onto an upper ledge at the top of the wall and jumped onto it's back. Merry was flung away like a bug but Pippin held on behind the troll's neck.

At that same moment, Ally threw down her sword and ran over to Legolas' side. Without saying anything, she grabbed his knives from their sheaths on his back and ran around behind the troll. She ran towards a large pile of rocks. Hoping this would work, she ran up onto the rocks and jumped towards the troll's back. As she jumped, she aimed one of the knives at the troll, hitting the mark, she used the blades to climb up to help Pippin.

Once she reached Pippin, she grabbed a hold of him as he was about to stab the troll in the back of the neck. When he stabbed the troll, it raised it's head back and Legolas shot an arrow through it's mouth into it's head.

The troll starts swaying and then falls forward, causing Pippin to fly off it's back while Ally is still holding onto Legolas' knives and on the troll's back.

While everyone is making sure that Frodo is alive, Legolas looks over to see Ally trying to pull his knives out of the troll's back. He shakes his head at her as he walks over and pulls them out himself without any issues.

A moment later they were in the main hall and surrounded by goblins and orcs, when suddenly, at the sound of something else coming into the hall, the enemy flees. As all of them are standing there, Ally walks quickly past Gandalf.

"Why are you still standing there?" she asks, making them snap out of it.

"A Balrog. RUN!" Gandalf yells and starts running himself.

They followed Gandalf and Ally as fast as they could. They ran through the hall and through a doorway. Gandalf had let them through the doorway before him. Boromir went first and nearly fell over the broken stairs. Legolas ran up behind him and caught him in time.

Ally was right next to them by now and watched as Legolas jumped over the gap in the stairs. Then she saw goblins aiming arrows at them as Legolas turned around to help Boromir across. She looked at Legolas, making sure he looked at her before she did anything. She held his eyes for a moment before saying anything.

"Goblins. Help them across. I've got your back. " She told him just before she did another running jump, joining him on the other side just as an arrow flew in between their heads. "Go on, help them. I've got this."

Legolas turned towards the others after he gave Ally a strange look when she turned her back on him and started shooting the goblins and orcs.

"Gandalf." Legolas says, starting to help the others across.

Ally kept shooting her arrows until everyone was running down the stairs and followed them.

After running for quite a while, Gandalf pointed out the Bridge of Khazad-Dum. "The bridge is near. Lead them on, Aragorn."

They ran across the narrow bridge with Gandalf behind them. When they made it to the other side safely, Gandalf stopped in the middle and waited there until the Balrog appeared. Everyone stood there waiting for Gandalf, who started yelling at the evil creature and then started speaking some spell.

"You shall not pass!" Gandalf yelled as he struck the bridge right in front of his feet.

As soon as the Balrog stepped on the bridge, the stones under it broke taking the creature with it. Then as soon as Gandalf turned to walk away, the Balrog wrapped it's whip around Gandalf's ankle, then took him down too.

"GANDALF!" Frodo yelled, then tried to run to him, but got stopped by Boromir.

Everyone started to run when the orcs showed up again and started shooting arrows at them. Ally shot all of her arrows and finally ran out of them. She was trying to buy the others some time, at least for a moment, then she felt someone grab her hand and pull her along after she used her last arrow.

When they were near the exit, Ally looked to she who was pulling her. When she saw that it was Legolas, she nearly tripped over a rock, but she didn't fall. She looked up to see that he had looked at her for a second and then she looked away from him.

"You can let go now, I can run on my own." She said, pulling her hand away, as they continued running.

"Forgive me." He says as they run out of the mountainside into daylight.

By the time the two of them made it outside, the others were sitting down all over the place and looked lost. Ally noticed that even Legolas was upset and she understood how they felt really well.

"Stubborn man. What were you thinking?" She whispered to herself as she looked back at the mountain, then walked over to Gimli, and bent over to put her hand on his shoulder.

"Boromir, Legolas, Ally, get them up." Aragorn said, looking at them.

"Give them a moment, for pities sake." Boromir replied, angrily.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs. We must reach the woods of Lothlorien." Aragorn told him.

Hours later, they were walking through Lothlorien.

"Be careful young hobbits, they say there's a witch in these woods that will ensnare you. Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox." Gimli says, looking around through the trees and suddenly has an arrow in his face.

"The dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the dark." says Haldir.

"Haldir of Lorien." Aragorn said, slightly bowing. "We need protection."

"Come, the lady is waiting." He said as he gave Ally a curious look.

"What? Haven 't you seen a woman before, Haldir?" Ally asked him with a glare.

"Yes, but your friend doesn't wear anything as strange as you." he answered.

"Are you calling me strange?" she asked, she was trying to walk over and strangle him,only to be held back by Boromir and Aragorn.

"No, I am not, lady. We must go now." Haldir said as he turned away and started walking.

A while later they were walking through Lothlorien. Ally couldn'thelp but stare at everything and all the elves that she did that for the entire walk through the place and it was huge. She wondered where Vip was.

Then they finally stopped in front of a large staircase. Ally looked up and then looked at Haldir.

"Do have to walk up all of those fucking stairs?" She asked sarcastically.

"Yes." was all Haldir said as he started to walk up them.

Ally stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and stuck out her tongue at Haldir's back. She didn' realize it at first but everyone saw what she did, even Legolas.

Quite a while later, everyone made it to the top of the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Quite a while later, everyone made it to the top of the stairs. They saw Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, then turned around to look at the stairs when then heard a voice. Instantly, Ally knew it was Vip.

"Would you hurry up we don't have all day." Vip says.

Once she makes it up to the top of the stairs, she sees Ally and taps Haldir's brother on his head to let him know to put her down.

"How in the HELL did you get a fucking ride up those stairs?" Ally said, glaring playfully at Vip.

"Training." Vip answers, smiling.

"Damn it, I soooo hate you right now." She said.

Vip sticks out her tongue at Ally as Ally turns to glare at Legolas. He looks at Ally with a raised eyebrow and a confused look on his face as Gimli, Aragorn, Galadriel start to laugh at him.

A couple months later, they were ready to leave Lothlorien. Galadriel was giving everyone a gift to take with them. She was giving Frodo a gift right now.

"And for you Frodo, I give you the light of Elendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places." Galdriel told him and lightly kissed him on the forehead, then turned to Vip. "I give to you the sword and bow that you have trained with while you were here."

Ally stood there watching everyone get their gifts and realized that she didn't want to leave but knew that she had to. She hated goodbyes and that was all there was to it.

"What gift would you like to take with you, Ally?" Galadriel asked her, making her snap out of her thoughts.

"What I want you can't give me, Galadriel. No one can, because I know that gift is impossible to get. At least, for me it is." Ally told her.

"Nothing is impossible if you just fight for it." Galadriel told her.

"Thanks, I'll remember that." Ally said, then walked towards the boats. "Oh God, I hate boats and water."

*Ally Flashbacks to a few days ago*

"We absolutely refuse to get into those deathtraps until you can prove to us that you can control them." Vip tells Boromir and Legolas.

Boromir and Legolas give the two of them exasperated looks while getting into the boats. Once they proved to the girls they could control the boats they started to head back in with Boromir yelling, "They are not deathtraps and we can control them fine."

Once they brought the boats back and stood up, both Ally and Vip each put a foot on the top of the boats and pushed the front of the boats down. Both, Legolas and Boromir lost their balance and fell backwards into the water. They glared at Ally and Vip, as the women bursts out laughing at them.

Haldir and his brothers just stand there and roll their eyes.

*End Flashback*

Ally looks up to see everyone in the boats except her. She sees everyone waiting on her but she doesn't move. Truth is, the only thing she has ever been afraid of is being in a boat, no matter if it was big or small, and it doesn't help that she's not much of a swimmer either.

Vip looked at her and shook her head. Suddenly Vip snapped her fingers and pointed at Ally, who suddenly felt her feet leave the ground as Haldir's youngest brother picked her up and carried her to the boat.

"NOOOOO! PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPID ELF. IF YOU PUT ME IN THAT DAMN THING, WHEN THIS IS OVER I'M GOING TO COME BACK HERE AND TORTURE YOU SO BAD THAT YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T DONE THIS!" Ally screamed as she was being carried over to Legolas' and Gimli's boat.

The elf put her in the boat and quickly walked away a few feet. Ally glared at Vip and then slid off the seat onto the floor at Legolas' feet, actually shaking like a leaf.

As Ally sat at his feet, Legolas looked at her worriedly. In all the time that he has known Ally, she's never said nothing about being afraid of anything. He didn't like seeing her like this at all but he didn't say anything as they left Lothlorien.


	5. Chapter 5

The entire journey down the Anduin was uneventful except for the feeling that they were being watched. They rowed to shore and rested for a while. The hobbits sat next to Vip and Ally while Gimli sat next to Ally. Aragorn and Legolas standing up talking. Boromir was sitting by himself next to a tree.

After a while, Vip saw Frodo stand up and walk into the trees. Then as she saw Boromir stand up, she grabbed Ally's arm and pointed at him. "It's almost time, girl." she told her as she stood up and pulled out her sword.

"Where's Frodo?" Merry asked suddenly.

Aragorn looked at where Frodo had been sitting and then to where Boromir was supposed to be. By now Ally was standing next to them with her sword out.

"We need to find him now, Aragorn." Ally said. "You know what could happen."

Everyone ran into the trees and went in different directions to look for Frodo. Vip and Ally ran to the right, with Merry and Pippin. Aragorn went straight with Sam following him. Legolas and Gimli went to the left.

Vip and the others saw some orcs and decided to hide at first that was until they saw Frodo hiding. Ally heard Merry and Pippin talking to Frodo but didn't say anything. She looked at Vip, who only shook her head. They knew what was happening.

"He's leaving." Merry said, which made Pippin run out of their hiding place.

"No." Pippin exclaimed.

"Pippin!" Merry called, going after him. "Run, Frodo. Hey! Hey! Over here!"

Vip and Ally ran with the two hobbits making the orcs run after them. They were giving Frodo his chance to escape. They ran until they were surrounded on all sides by orcs.

Vip and Ally were fighting off as many orcs as possible and trying to protect the hobbits at the same time. They were having a hard time doing it until Boromir arrived.

They were killing orcs left and right but it felt like there was no end to them. Boromir had been shot with an arrow to his shoulder but he kept fighting alongside the women. Merry and Pippin kept trying to help but couldn't do much unfortunately. Ally and Vip were doing pretty good since they had ended up kind of making a circle of orc bodies around each of them.

Once Boromir had been shot with the second arrow, Merry and Pippin had got angry and were doing their best to kill some orcs but had only succeeded in badly wounding a few before the orcs grabbed them and started to leave. Boromir ended up with a third arrow, this one in his chest, as an orc grabbed Vip and picked her up.

"ALLY!" she screamed, making her friend look at her. "YOUR BOOT!"

"WHA...?" Ally yelled as she saw Vip starting to be carried off and without paying attention to the orcs coming up behind her, took off her boot, and threw it at Vip.

Vip caught the boot and swung her arm at the orc that was trying to carry her. She stabbed the vile creature right through the eye into it's brain, getting Ally's boot stuck. Vip fell to the ground hard but managed to get up quickly and help Ally kill the few orcs that were left, other than the one that was about to kill Boromir.

At that moment Aragorn showed up and fought the orc. While Aragorn was fighting, Vip and Ally carried Boromir over to a nearby tree and leaned him against it. Ally stayed with Boromir while Aragorn fought the orc and Vip went to find Ally's boot.

After Aragorn killed the orc, Ally stood up to walk away as Legolas and Gimli arrive. She limped over to them to let Boromir talk to Aragorn.

"Are you alright,Ally?" Legolas asked, concern clear in his voice, which was a rare thing.

"Are you hurt, lassy?" Gimli asked, getting mad.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." She told them.

"But your leg, lassy." Gimli says as Vip walks up to them and hands Ally her boot with an orc skull atached to it.

"Here's your boot, girl. Sorry, I tried to get it off but no luck." Vip says as Ally takes her boot back.

"Thanks, this brings back memories. Huh, Gimli?" Ally said and then Legolas takes her boot without saying a word and smashes the skull on a rock before giving the boot back to her. "Thanks, Legolas."

Hours later, Legolas and Aragorn sent Boromir's body over Rauros Falls, while Ally, Vip, and Gimli hid the other boats and supplies the best they could. Then by that afternoon they started to run after the rest of the orcs that had run off with Merrry and Pippin.


	6. Chapter 6

Vip and Ally had started off running next to Aragorn and Legolas with Gimli behind them. By the next day though, Ally had slowed down quite a bit. Vip had slowed down to be running next to Gimli.

On their pursuit, Ally was behind all of them and she was mentally cursing at herself for insisting on keeping her boots. As she looked up to see how far ahead of her the others were, she saw Vip looking back at her and rolling her eyes.

"Get out of my head, damn it!" Ally exclaimed as Vip started laughing at her.

Aragorn knelt down and put his ear to a rock and after a few moments stood up.

"Their pace has quickened. They must've caught our scent." Aragorn said.

"Come, Gimli." Legolas says and then keeps running after Aragorn.

"Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." Aragon says.

"They may yet be alive." Legolas says.

"Less than a day ahead of us." Aragorn replies.

"Rohan, home of the Horse Lords." Aragorn said as he looked at the Land of Rohan.

When Aragorn and Legolas stopped running, Gimli and Vip had finally caught up to them. Ally caught up to them a moment later and fell down next to Vip on the ground, trying to catch her breath.

"Girl, next time remind me to bring my inhaler so I don't kill myself." Ally told her.

Vip looked at her, stunned. "You don't have your inhaler. What were you thinking?" Vip said looking at her like she was crazy.

"We were only supposed to go to the bathroom, remember. How were we supposed to know we were going to be pulled into Middle Earth?" Ally reminded her friend.

"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them." Legolas says.

"Really Legolas, you think." Ally says to him, finally catching up to him and Aragorn after having rested a little. Along with Vip.

The next morning dawned and Legolas stopped running to look at the sky.

"Red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night." Legolas says then keeps running.

By mid-morning, Aragorn heard horses coming in their direction. He had everyone hide among some of the large boulders nearby to wait for them to pass by. Once he saw that it was the Rohirrim, he jumped up and moved out of hiding. Everyone followed him as he called out to the riders.

"Riders of Rohan, what news from the Mark?" he called as they turned their horses around and surrounded them.

Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli watched the Rohirrim surround them, shocked at how they were being welcomed. Vip and Ally just stood there shaking their heads and waited.

"What business do two men, an elf, and two dwarves have in the Riddermark?" The man said still up on his horse.

"Give me your name horse-master and I shall give you mine." Gimli tells him, making him dismount his horse.

"I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood a bit higher from the ground." He said,, threateningly.

"You would die before your stroke fell." Legolas said as he aimed his bow and arrow at the man, and Ally's sword was at his throat.

"Mahal faslmaganu zharmur! (Mahal's hairy balls!) Vip exclaimed as she pulled her hood off of her head.

"Auta miqula orqu. (Go kiss an orc.) Do I look like a fucking man to you?" Ally snaps as she pulls down her hood too. "If you threaten any of them again, I will kill you without a second thought

"I am Aragorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm. These two are Vip and Ally." Aragorn said, introducing everyone.

"Who are you calling a dwarf/ man?" Vip and Ally said simultaneously.

"Forgive me for my rudeness, my ladies." He said as he bowed his head to them. Then he looked at Aragorn. "Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe." He removed his helmet. "Not even his own kin. I am Eomer."

Aragorn and Eomer talked for a while. Ally and Vip stayed near Legolas and Gimli the whole time Aragorn was talking to Eomer. Ally stood there with her sword in her hand just in case, even though she knew that the Rohirrim wouldn't do anything. Vip stood there not paying attention to any of them. Gimli and Legolas just stood there waiting.

Finally, Vip saw that Ally was still holding her sword and wanted to know why she still had it out.

"Ally, why do you still have your sword out still?" Vip asked her as she watched her friend look over at all of the Rohirrim.

"I don't like how they are looking at us. It creeps me out." Ally said as she walked over to where Legolas and Gimli were standing.

Vip watched her walk away before looking at the Rohirrim and shook her head as she realized what Ally meant.

Not long after that, they had three horses and were about to go to the Uruk-hai that were left to burn.

"Hey Vip, let me have that horse please." Ally asked her as she saw Gimli behind Legolas on one of the horses and Aragorn mounting the other one.

"Why?" Vip asked raising her eyebrow at her.

"Because I want to ride by myself, okay." Ally answered sharply as she tried not to show her jealousy of Gimli.

"Oh fine, go ahead! Aragorn?" She replied as she looked at Aragorn, who pulled her up behind him as she realized why Ally wanted her own horse. "You really can be a spoiled bitch sometimes, you know that."

"Sorry." Ally replied sounding hurt for a moment until she mounted the horse. "Hey Legolas, I'll race you there and whoever wins gets 100 pieces of gold from the loser. Do you want to or are you afraid?"

Before you answer that, I want to know when did the two of you lassies learned to speak dwarvish and elvish?" Gimli asked looking at both of them curiously, along with Aragorn, and Legolas.

"Gimli, don't worry about how I learned Dwarvish because I'm not going to tell you." Vip answers starting to laugh at him.

"As to when I learned Elvish, we were in Rivendell, remember." Ally answered, then looked at Legolas again. "Well?"

"Don't do it lad, it's not a very wise idea and I don't like the thought of falling of this horse." Gimli told him.

"Is this why you wanted a horse for yourself, Ally?" Vip asked, slightly worried about the answer.

"Partly." She replied as she waited for Legolas to answer. "What do you say, hmm?"

"Very well, be prepared to lose my mellon." He told her with a slight smile on his face.

Ally started to smile but then quickly looking away since she could feel herself starting to blush. "Vip, would you?"

"Fine. On three." She replied, exasperatedly. "One. Two. Three."

Legolas and Ally took off on the horses at full speed. Aragorn and Vip couldn't help but laugh when they heard Gimli yelling at them to stop racing.

"I believe that those two have forgotten that Gimli is with them." Aragorn told Vip as they followed them.

"I know Ally has forgot about our small friend. Why do you think both of them forgot? Legolas clearly hasn't." She said.

"You haven't noticed?" He asked.

"Noticed what?"

"You'll see."

As soon as Vip said three, Ally and Legolas bolted across the Plains of Rohan. Legolas had started out a little ahead of her and stayed in the lead for a few minutes until Ally urged her horse to go faster. Once she caught up to him, they were side by side trying to see which one could get ahead of the other.

After a few more minutes, Ally decided to show him what she was capable of doing. She urged the horse to go faster as she saw that they were almost there. She was in the lead and looked back to see Legolas trying to catch up but it was too late. She made it to the spot and had dismounted as Legolas brought his horse to a halt.

Ally helped Gimli down from the horse as Legolas dismounted and watched her.

"Ally." Legolas said, making her turn around to look at him and handed her his money "You only won due to the dwarf slowing me down."

Aragorn and Vip got there before Ally or Gimli could say anything.

"So, who won?" Vip asked as she looked at Ally and got down from the horse.

"Do you really have to ask?" She said as she held up the bag of money Legolas had just given her. "You of all people should already know that answer.

"Did he blame the dwarf?" She asked, making Aragorn laugh and Legolas glare at her.

"Yeah, of course he did. Elvish pride, you know." Ally said. "Hey Legolas, we're going to have to race again. Next time without Gimli. What do you say?"

"Of course." He said before going over to the burning orcs and helping Aragorn look at the ground.

Vip looked at Ally and without saying a word the two of them walked over to the trees of Fangorn Forest. They leaned against the trees and waited.


End file.
